One Love

The Secret of Tu B'Av

This past Shabbat was Shabbat Nachamu, the 'Sabbath of Consolation', taking its name from the haftara prophetic reading of the day, found in Isaiah chapter 40: 'Comfort, comfort My people, says your God.' This Shabbat marked the beginning of a period of spiritual ascent in preparation for coming the High Holy Days, heralding the chance for a fresh start.

The Torah portion of Va'Etchanan (Deut. 3:23) is always read on this Shabbat. This portion features the foundational article of faith, Shema Yisrael, 'Hear O Israel,' Israel's declaration of God's unity. And the reading of this parasha generally intersects with the approach of another special day, one of the most spiritually evocative, yet misunderstood and unsung days, on the Hebrew calendar: Tu B’Av, the 15th day of this month of Menachem Av, which occurs this week on Wednesday July 29. Although we just finished navigating through the rocky straits of the 'Three Weeks' of mourning that climax with the crash of Tisha B’Av, the arrival of Tu B'Av heralds a monumental change in the very essence of this month, and we now begin the period of preparation for the High Holy Days of Tishrei.

Tu B’Av is an ancient Biblical holiday, alluded to in Judges (21:19): 'Behold, there is a yearly holiday unto Hashem at Shiloh.’ On this day the daughters of Shiloh and Jerusalem, wearing borrowed white gowns, would dance in circles in the vineyards. According to Torah tradition, on this day a sublime illumination of God’s unity and love begins to shine forth. The Mishna in Tractate Ta'anit relates that in the time of the Holy Temple, ‘the happiest days of the year’ were Yom Kippur and Tu B'Av. The Talmud records numerous events took place on Tu B’Av throughout various historical periods, all understood as manifestations of Divine love. For example, it was on this day that the decree of death that had been made against the Generation of the Desert ended. It was on this same day that the spirit of prophecy returned. Also on this day, the tribe of Benjamin was reconciled with the tribes of Israel and reinstated. All the events associated with Tu B'Av share a common spiritual root.

Tu B'Av is a unique day of spiritual yearning and promise; of Divine assurance and consolation; of the unity of all Israel…but most of all, it is a day focused upon God’s unconditional love. In our time, Tu B'Av is known in Israel as a day of brides and grooms, of couples and matrimony, and expressions of love.

So… what's love got to do with it?

Here, Tu B'Av connects back to the portion of Va'Etchanan, and the Shema.

'Hear O Israel, Hashem is our God, Hashem is the One and Only.' (Deut. 6:1)

Shema—pay attention Israel! God is One. Not simply the guiding force of the world, of our lives; not simply 'one' and not 'three' or 'fifty-six'…not simply, 'one', to the exclusion of any partnership…but 'One,' as in, there is only One….there is nothing else at all.

This first verse is a call to the people of Israel to recognize God's uniqueness and Oneness. There are so many levels of kavana– of intention upon which to focus, just as the Shema itself has many levels of meaning. It is at once a prayer, a meditation, a declaration of faith; but also, a toolkit for spiritual growth and a conduit of Divine power and love. Rashi teaches that one of the most basic intentions to bear in mind during the recital of the Shema is this: Shema Yisrael – Hashem who is now, currently, Elokeinu – our G-d – will one day in the future, be Hashem Echad – He will be recognized and acknowledged as the One God by all the nations of the world. This is a vision of tikkun in which the Shema becomes the universal prayer, Hashem's own prayer, as it were; that this statement of God's unity will in the future be declared in unison by the whole world.

Then, the first paragraph of the Shema prayer begins, and we are commanded to love God: ‘And you shall love Hashem your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your resources’ (Deut. 6:2).

How can love be commanded? If love is an emotion, a feeling, isn’t Torah asking the impossible? How can Torah mandate a feeling? No one can decide, at 3:00 PM this afternoon, “I’m going to fall in love.”

Emotions happen to us; they overtake us. They are responses, not decisions. Is a feeling something that a person can choose; can I control my feelings, and thus Torah can command me what to feel?

For most people it’s hard enough simply to believe in G-d; we are also commanded to love Him?!

But yet, in the ‘Laws of Repentance’ of his monumental Mishneh Torah, Maimonides explains what it means to love God. He writes, “the goal is to love Hashem with a very great love, a fierce and intense love, so that the individual’s very life force itself is completely bound up with loving Hashem. He is constantly thinking about Him, like a man who is lovesick for a woman, obsessed, and continually thinking about her; when he sits down, when he gets up, when he eats and drinks. This is what the verse means, ‘with all your heart and with all your soul,’ and as alluded to by King Solomon in the Song of Songs, ‘for I am lovesick.’ The secret of this love is the basis of the entire Song of Songs,” concludes Maimonides.

So yes, Torah commands us to channel our capacity to love towards Hashem, because the power of love is naturally implanted in a person and needs to be activated and directed.

All the great masters were lovesick for Hashem. That was the driving force of their lives. Our verse instructs us ‘And you shall love Hashem your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your resources.’ Rashi explains what each of these things means: What does it mean, ‘with all your heart?’ With both your inclinations, both the good inclination and the bad; meaning, use all the force of your personality, your nature, even your yetzer hara, even that part of your being that would stray from God: train it as well to love Hashem, so that your heart is not divided. In other words, gain mastery over yourself so that no part of your heart is left out, or filled with another love. ‘With all your soul’ meaning, even if He takes your soul from you, when it is your turn to die you must still endeavor to be in love with Hashem, for this is your moment; ‘And with your resources,’ means: use all your strength, all your finances, every power and means at your disposal to demonstrate your love.

Now look at our verse again, and the simplest reading makes so much sense.

What does a lover say to his beloved?

I love you with all my heart…

I love you more than life itself….

I love you more than all the riches in the world, money is no object.

So, the Shema declaration of Oneness is immediately followed by the command to love. The one grows naturally out of the other. Love is the existential experience of that oneness.

But the Shema Yisrael prayer is the only prayer in which it is customary to close our eyes; we cover our eyes with our hand. Why? Other prayers, even the most important prayers, such as the daily amidah and others—there's no mandate to cover the eyes. Why do we close our eyes during the verse that declares God's oneness?

It's the secret of why a couple closes their eyes when they kiss. A person who is afraid does not close their eyes. Closing the eyes means you can be real, you can be yourself, you can let your guard down completely; it is a sign of total trust. It is safe. And even more so: it is a nullification of the self, and a merging into oneness.

Torah's understanding of love is the attainment of oneness, as exemplified by husband and wife: 'and the two shall be as one flesh' (Gen. 2:24). When two people love each other, each cease to experience the other as 'other.' There is no 'other' when the other's joy becomes my joy. And the 'other's' suffering becomes my suffering. The 'other's' destiny becomes my destiny.

Love dissolves separateness.

Loving Hashem means focusing on that love no matter what my situation is, and despite how bad things might appear. And in the words b’chol m’odecha, 'with all your might', the word me’od also alludes to middah, to every measure… meaning, with every measure that He measures out to us, whatever our portion is, whether we perceive it as good or bad, loving Hashem means to know that on the deepest level, however difficult it is for me to perceive, it is only love.

So, the Talmud teaches that the holy Rabbi Akiva, while being tortured to death by the Romans for the crime of teaching Torah, was reciting the Shema at the time of his execution. He told his students who stood by him: "My whole life, I have been waiting to fulfill these words, ‘and you shall love Hashem your God with all your soul,’ meaning ‘I love you even if You take my soul." This is the same Rabbi Akiva, who once saw a fox running through the ruins of the Holy of Holies of the destroyed Temple. His colleagues cried to see such a sight, but he laughed. The other sages were incredulous that he could laugh while witnessing such desecration. But he explained that he laughed, because if the prophecies of destruction have come true, then be assured that the prophecies of consolation will also come to pass!

Rabbi Akiva taught 'the entire Torah is holy, and the Song of Songs is the Holy of Holies.' He was comparing the Torah to the 'holy' area of the Beit HaMikdash, the sanctified Court of the Holy Temple; whereas the Song of Songs can be compared to the spiritual level of the Kodesh Kodashim – the Inner Sanctum where the Ark of the Covenant was housed. His intention transcends allegory; he understands the Song of Songs, the most intimate description of human love that exists in Scripture, to be simultaneously alluding to the holiest expression of the relationship between God and man.

Rabbi Akiva maintains that all throughout the Song of Songs, the lovers' intimacy is an analogy for Divine love. This is not merely a convenient metaphor; Torah is revealing that the love a couple experiences within the sanctity of marriage is participation in a deeper reality of Oneness.

Rabbi Akiva's teaching conveys the idea that the earthly experience is not a metaphor borrowed to explain a Heavenly concept. Rather, earthly love is itself a manifestation—a branch of the Divine root. Every manifestation of authentic human love is a spark of the Creator's primordial love, which is most closely personified by the holy love of husband and wife.

He calls the Song of Songs 'the Holy of Holies' because it reveals something that no other Biblical book reveals. The Torah can describe mitzvot; it can describe prophecy. It can describe miracles.

Only the Song of Songs dares to describe what it feels like to be loved by God. That is an entirely different kind of knowledge.

Man and wife, in love, are archetypes of a Divine drama. The woman's presence in the home is the personification of the Shechina, the Divine Presence. She stands in for God. Thus we find in the Zohar that Rabbi Shimon boldly interprets the verse (Lev. 19:4) 'Do not turn to the idols' as a message to married men: 'Do not gaze at other women.'

Huh? What's the connection that Rabbi Shimon is making? It's simply as if to say, 'What's wrong with you? You already have God in your house! Your wife is the presence of the Shechina! Why are you looking at 'other gods?'

All this takes us back to the secret of Tu B'Av. Divine love is what powers the universe. After the darkest day on the Jewish calendar, there suddenly appears its mirror image. Tisha B'Av speaks of distance, abandonment and loss. Tu B'Av quietly reveals that the separation was never real. No matter what Israel goes through, and no matter what has transpired, and no matter how much time has passed, nothing can ever separate her from her true love, who 'stands behind our wall, watching from the windows, peering out from the lattice-work…' (Song of Songs 2:9).

For if love, in Torah, is the attainment of oneness, then exile itself can only be temporary. Stones may fall. Walls may be breached. The Holy Temple may be destroyed. But God’s covenant cannot be destroyed, because it is rooted in that very Oneness proclaimed by the Shema itself.

The greatest tragedy is not the destruction. The greatest tragedy is believing that we have somehow become separated from God.

“For a small moment have I forsaken you…but with great mercies will I gather you. In the overflowing of wrath, I hid My face from you for a moment, but with everlasting faithful love will I have mercy on you, says your redeemer, Hashem” (Isaiah 54).